(10:29:03 PM) Soup: Okay! Story number two!
(10:29:21 PM) Soup: The second day we were in Encinitas my parents wanted to go to this breakfast place
(10:29:45 PM) Soup: It seemed like a pretty nice place. I even put on clean clothes to go there and everything.
(10:30:16 PM) Soup: Anyway,
we get there, and the girl at the front podium tells us it's gonna be
about a 15 minute wait. So I sit down with my mom and sister in a
couple free chairs.
(10:30:42 PM) Soup: A
few minutes later, this guy whips out his iPhone, and shoves it in my
mom's face. Then he points over at me and says "his shirt."
(10:30:56 PM) Soup: He's got an English accent, by the way. Imagine that when he's talking.
(10:31:36 PM) Soup: Well,
on his iPhone screen was the definition of "circle jerk." And my mom
kind of gives him this look like, "so? It's a fucking band." Like any
reasonable person would, you know?
(10:32:15 PM) Soup: So
he's all confronting my mom and my sister about my shirt, and I tell
him basically to leave us alone and mind his own business (and I did say I was sorry he was offended, for the record)
(10:32:58 PM) Soup: and
then he goes off on this big rant about "some people like to come to
this place with their kids after church" and then onto "we have
obscenity laws in this country, you know!" and then onto "is this how
you practice freedom of speech?"
(10:33:22 PM) Soup: and
then eventually I've just had enough of this guy, and I just get up and
yell right in his face "SIT DOWN AND LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE, ASSHOLE"*
(10:33:37 PM) Soup: And he goes to complain to the restaurant
(10:33:50 PM) Soup: who proceed to basically tell him to go fuck himself, far as I could tell
(10:34:06 PM) Soup: And then we were seated, and all was well.
(10:34:16 PM) Soup: That guy was the running joke of the trip.
*It should be noted that he used the word "cunt" loudly in chewing us out, so I doubt any of these words were anything his kids hadn't heard before.
(10:14:56 PM) Soup: First day I get there
(10:15:05 PM) Soup: we're pulling up to the condo we're staying at
(10:15:08 PM) Soup: and I yawn
(10:15:17 PM) Soup: and then my jaw just pops out of place
(10:15:40 PM) Soup: I think it's my TMJ acting up so I'm trying to rub the muscles 'til they ease up
(10:15:45 PM) Soup: But it's not working at all
(10:15:57 PM) Soup: So I take one of my mom's muscle relaxers
(10:16:22 PM) Soup: Well, after an hour of no progress being made, we decide, "well shit. Time for an emergency room visit."
(10:16:28 PM) Soup: I'm freaking out at this point
(10:16:54
PM) Soup: I mean, I'm keeping my composure, but I'm really hoping I'm
not gonna have some quack try to cut me open or something
(10:17:24 PM) Soup: So we don't know where the nearest doctor is that would be good for something like this
(10:17:46 PM) Soup: My sister actually comes up with the idea of calling the owner of the condo and asking
(10:17:54 PM) Soup: So she tells us to go to Scripps
(10:18:10 PM) Soup: we get there, and the emergency room nurse is asking me all sorts of questions
(10:18:33
PM) Soup: All of which I am completely incapable of coherently
answering because my fucking jaw is popped out and I can't move it.
(10:18:49 PM) Soup: Eventually, they sort of figure out what's up.
(10:19:10 PM) Soup: I end up in this little triage room I'm pretty sure they use for childbirth
(10:19:27 PM) Soup: and, you know, pregnant medicine
(10:19:35 PM) Soup: That sorta thing
(10:19:41 PM) Soup: I guess the actual ER was full
(10:19:48 PM) Soup: I'm waiting for a while
(10:20:05 PM) Soup: after about another hour from when I left the condo, they finally get to me
(10:20:11 PM) Soup: Which is impressive, actually
(10:20:17 PM) Soup: This nurse walks up
(10:20:30 PM) Soup: "Hi, I'm Brian. I'll be your doctor... I mean, I'm not a doctor."
(10:20:38 PM) Soup: I'm getting scared of this guy
(10:20:44 PM) Soup: he seems a little... overzealous
(10:21:12 PM) Soup: Anyway, the real doctor comes over, tells me my jaw is straight-up dislocated
(10:21:49 PM) Soup: and Brian, the nurse who doesn't know his fucking place is all like "we should take an X-ray."
(10:22:08 PM) Soup: The doctor shoots down this idea, and he's just like... "but I like taking X-rays..." Real disappointed like
(10:22:17 PM) Soup: So he leaves. I don't know where he's going.
(10:22:35 PM) Soup: the doctor pulls another doctor aside, and they discuss how best to deal with this situation
(10:23:03
PM) Soup: The doctor wraps her thumbs in gauze and just sticks 'em in
my mouth and kinda pushes it back. Real slow. Doesn't hurt a bit
(10:23:08 PM) Soup: and my jaw pops back into place
(10:23:27
PM) Soup: Brian comes back with two syringes. "Yeah. I brought some
vicodin and morphine. I wasn't sure if we'd need 'em or not..."
(10:23:51 PM) Soup: Needless to say, I declined both and let them take my vitals and got out of there.
(10:24:02 PM) Soup: That was my first night of vacation.
